PSA

[arisha]

So for those of you not in the know, I don't drink alcohol. I made this choice before I was of drinking age and I have kept with it because it is the choice that makes sense to me. I cannot articulate my reasoning any clearer than that, but that's fine; this is not a choice I feel the need to justify. I have no problem with the thought of other people drinking, but I have no interest in being one of them.

Having said that. Obviously I do have friends and co-workers and relatives and acquaintances who drink. This does not bother me, but it seems very much to bother them. I can go months at a time without this being brought up, but then it begins again: "Sarah, we're gonna take you out drinking. I really want to see you drunk, it'd be so funny! I'll take you to my favourite clubs, you can crash at my place, it'll be so much fun!!" A fine proposition, but one that I am sick to death of hearing. Look: I don't drink. You know I don't drink. You know that I have been of legal drinking age for four years and I have never had a drink, or wanted to have a drink. You know I don't see any appeal in getting drunk. I have told you that alcohol just makes my parents sleepy, and is likely to affect me the same boring way. I am so not interested in this plan at all and yet people keep suggesting this to me. My friends are mostly over this stage, but every time I have a new group of co-workers it's the same thing all over again. And how sure of themselves they must be, to think that they will be the ones to change my mind, that they will be the ones I let take me to the clubs. Look, dudes - my best friends have not been able to get me drunk. What makes you think you'll be able to.

I think I just realized that I've been living under the impression that peer pressure ceases to exist once you hit twenty.

Post inspired by an annoyance in an otherwise fantastic last night. A minor annoyance, but an annoyance nonetheless. :|

Comments

[missmomoko.livejournal.com]

I totally understand where you are coming from. I don't even know what to say anymore to make them shut up! I used to just go 'okay I'll have one.' But I don't like the taste and drinking never makes me feel good...just crap! Once I let my friend buy me a drink and she decided to order me a triple vodka without telling me!!! LOL, I think they want to get a kick out of seeing you drink as well.

So now I just don't drink anything. But if I ever say no, I usually get a 'but why? come on don't be boring.' It is so annoying!

[the-wykydtron.livejournal.com]

I am also keen to know where this bizarre obsession with The Fox has come from. At first I thought it was just A and M, but then L and S started talking about it at karaoke. Ew. No.

[arisha.livejournal.com]

I have no idea, but I certainly hope it dies a quick death. It opens up a whole bunch of new issues that I don't feel like getting into when I'm at work. :| It probably didn't show, but when L told me she and J have that stupid bet going on to see if they can get me there, I was pretty pissed off. Apparently I'm not entertaining enough unless I'm uncomfortable, I don't know.

[the-wykydtron.livejournal.com]

Part of me is going, "Oh, no, they don't want to make you UNCOMFORTABLE!" but the other thinking part of me is going, "Well, what else did they THINK was going to happen?" You have expressed in clear, honest language that you do not want to drink, that you are not interested in drinking, and it's kind of like ... okay, their goal certainly isn't to make you uncomfortable, but how do they square that with the fact that you do not want to drink?

As someone who drinks, I have to say that I didn't think about this issue the same way before I knew you, and I wonder if I ever pissed someone off this way and never knew it. The thought process is, arisha = fun, drinking = fun, arisha + drinking = more fun. She says she doesn't drink? But how can she know unless she's tried it?!? She doesn't know what she's missing - come on, have a drink! And I suspect that S and L were doing the same thing. Not that that is an excuse - it's just that they're clearly NOT THINKING. Or, I suppose, not listening. They're not doing you the service of taking you at your word.

Bah. I have definitely been on their side in the past, and I definitely know how hard it is to get through to that side, because the possibility that they could be offending or upsetting you is not even on their radar, because they are talking about drinking and everyone knows that drinking is fun, and those who don't think so are simply waiting to be convinced.

[wolfgangmozart.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I don't think peer pressure ever really goes away. I know a number of 40 year olds who are still prone to peer pressure... you would think at some point you'd hit the point where it's like, "okay, I'm an adult, I can do what I want without worrying about what people think!"

this is not a choice I feel the need to justify.

SO MUCH WORD. Be yourself. If you really want to go out with them but not drink, order Shirley Temples (grenadine mix and Sprite, with cherries)--YUM.

[etherealisms.livejournal.com]

D: I used to not drink either, and people used to do that to me too. It was so annoying. Like people can't accept that you're not a typical teen/20something who doesn't want to go out and get drunk every night, jfc.

I drink now, but I only like to in small groups of friends. I really hate going to parties and stuff and don't get me started on clubs :/ I went to one last weekend and just wanted to go home and watch movies the whole time. Lol I'm so ~antisocial~

[athena-crikey.livejournal.com]

Oddly enough, I was going to make a similar post the other day.

I just got back from a 2 day field trip to Toronto. Before I left I told my parents I was going.

Dad: Don't just sit in the hotel all night, go out and do something!
Me: Mm hmm...
Dad: You should go out for dinner or something.
Me: We'll see.
Dad: 'We'll see,' I know what that means.
Me: Well, most people are probably just going to go out drinking and clubbing.
Dad: So go with them; it's time you grew up.

And I just... arg. Like, I have to enjoy drinking and clubbing to be an adult? Really? I have been clubbing, I have had drinks, and frankly I don't care for either - especially with people I don't really know (or with those I do, but at least I can stand it because I know they're enjoying themselves and I'll have an important role in getting them home). But if I don't conform to the popular idea of what's popular for adults, it means I'm not one? Luckily, a lot of people grow out of it by their mid-late twenties so you stop sticking out as much, I've found.

Frankly, although it's horrible, if my coworkers or something started to bug me about it like that - I'm sure, as Wykydtron says, they just genuinly don't get how irritating it is to have your choices disrespected as being foolish/naive/childish/whatever, but unless you get really pissed off with them they probably won't drop it - I'd make up a reason. Probably family history of alcoholism for me - since there is one, although not in my blood family - that would make them drop it pretty damn fast. With people who you don't know that well and maybe aren't likely to, it's that or be perpetually annoyed until you have a fight about it.

[xifeng.livejournal.com]

Dude wut. It's a personal choice that you don't have to justify to anyone. I am not a strict teetotaler--I like beer, and I sometimes like to enjoy beer on occasion--but I am an abstemious drinker (I've been drunk exactly once and I have no desire to ever repeat that experience), and I get similar crap. Apparently I don't drink enough. Apparently I've missed the point and drinking is always and only about getting drunk and not about liking the taste of beer or the way it goes with some foods or anything.

Part of it, for me, is that my parents' attitude was "okay, you're going to learn to drink responsibly at home" and so booze was not glamorous or mysterious or forbidden at my house, but there were rules attached to it, especially once my sister and I were old enough to drive. So by the time I was 21, which is the legal age in the US, booze was not very interesting and the ability to buy it legally was more a convenience than a rite of passage. Also, I kind of grew up in a familial/social culture (not sure now how much of it was my socioeconomic milieu and how much was my family) where drinking to excess was stigmatized behavior.

(Also also, I had a father who fancied himself a booze snob, so I was kind of raised to focus on quality and taste rather than getting smashed as quickly as possible--I'd never do shots, and girl drinks that taste like candy should just GTFO as far as I'm concerned.)

A lot of the people I know for whom the purpose is to drink to excess are younger than I am, so I take the attitude that I don't have anything to prove to these kids. XD Sometimes when people are all "lol y u dnot drink???" or "o lol letz get u drunk!!1! itll b so teh funz!", they're actually not secure with their own choices and attitudes and are looking for validation.

TL;DR: Fight the power. XD

[frauleinfrog.livejournal.com]

Man, word. Although I tend to find that I don't get pressured that often, I still get it sometimes (like from my cousins, wtf [although I guess they're English]), and it can be pretty annoying. I don't like the taste and I don't want to be drunk, guys, thanks for asking~