sing, goddess, the rage of ackley

So I'm spending my day off work reading Troy High, which is pretty much the best book of my life. Not only because it's an unashamedly cracktastic retelling of the Trojan War, but also because I can relate to it:

Just as I reached out to grab the door handle to get in, the car moved forward two feet.

"Perry, stop it," I said. I reached for the handle again, but once more Perry let off the brake and made the car lurch forward.

All at once it becomes clear to me why I've always had such a dislike of Prince Paris of Troy - because he is my brother.

Also, this paragraph is amazing:

Lucas walked in, followed by his friends Owen, Ackley, and Patrick. ... Owen was friendly, but Ackley kept more to himself and was always shadowed by his best friend, Patrick. Also, I doubted Ackley had wanted to spend much time in my presence over the past year, ever since Hunter injured his ankle in the game between Lacede and Troy.

hahahahahaha omg, I love it. The best part of this book is figuring out who people are supposed to be. This paragraph killed me. xD

Also please note that Cassandra plays flute in marching band and Agamemnon is the tenth grade class president, how can this book possibly get any more amazing.