stories from work, an excellent joke or two, and a list

Yesterday someone paid me with money she pulled out of her bra and then she began to make out with her boyfriend right in front of the till.

Today our debit machine wasn't working for a while and so at one point when I tried to use it and it didn't go through I assumed it had just busted again when, in reality, the customer had no idea she had to enter her PIN. OH MAN OH MAN YOU WIN AT THE INTERNET. When I figured out what had happened, swiped the card again, and tried to hand her the PIN-entering device (I don't know what it's called, shut up), she looked at me as if to say "???"

Here is a joke I made today:
Sarah: Hey, are you going to see Batman today?
Brother: Yeah.
Sarah: Can you tell him I said "hi"?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH MAN I ROCK HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Also my mom had me get her two tacos and I was all "I made the meat today, perhaps you will get salmonella!" because I have no class, and then my brother was all "You 'made' the meat?" and I was all "I went out back and slaughtered the cow and then I dragged it inside and ground it all up with my bare hands" and then my brother was all "Did you make the cow?" and I was all "Yes, we have a science lab out back where we clone them" and Mom said "What was the cow's name?" and I said "Dolly" and she said "That's not very imaginative" and I said "They don't pay us to be imaginative." PWNED!!

We picked up my brother from some concert last night and when we dropped his friend off and he was waiting for someone to let him into the house, he did a very amusing pantomime about how sad he was to be stuck waiting outside. It was a lot funnier than it sounds.

Also, here is ( a list. )

*Mozartwrote"OCanada"OMGit'strue.

(no subject)

MY FIRST VICTIM!

Did Mozart really write Oh Canada? ... I thought it was first written in French --- why would Mozart write in French? Wait, did I miss some sarcasm?

(I can't even get over it. This joke is never going to get old. Oh man oh man awesome.)