arisha: (koharu kusumi)
[personal profile] arisha
So on top of the regular work week plus two-hour eikaiwa that I've been doing since I started JET, about a year(!!!) ago I started doing a second monthly kindergarten class. At first I was quite nervous about doing a kindergarten without my two fellow ALTs (this was back when they were still pretending to help me with the kindergarten class we share, I guess), but now I really enjoy it. I mean kindergarteners are adorable and etc.

In recent weeks, I have agreed to a monthly class at a special ed school, which should be all right although I am a little bit dreading the fact that it is an addition to my already busy Tuesdays. As someone who needs more than the average amount of time to myself, the thought of having a day where I only get an hour max to just chill is fairly frustrating. (Especially so since Wednesday is eikaiwa day, another day where my alone time is limited.) But I'll only be doing it three times so I'll do my best to push through.

Aaaaand I have also started doing a weekly one-on-one half-hour Skype lesson for one of my friends here. (It's via Skype because she lives in another town and the train is super inconvenient.) She mainly wants to practice conversation and is very eager to talk so I don't have to plan much besides picking a topic. So that's all right.

I definitely feel though that I have taken on more than I would have if this wasn't a temporary situation ... and man I really wish I could just slot all these other classes into times when I have no classes at school. Spending eight hours trying to find stuff to do really drains me. It's kind of hard to find the energy necessary for classes after a day spent sitting at my desk.

(Kind of related, at my Friday school a few weeks ago three of the fifth graders came to get me for their class, and they couldn't get through their "Please come to our classroom" without nervous laughter, so the school nurse was making them say it again and again, and eventually I was like just THAT'S ENOUGH LET'S GO and the nurse said "Wow, Sarah is so nice" and I was like man it is not about niceness it is about how I see zero appeal in spending any more time at my desk than I already do. I could be in a classroom right now lady!!!!)

I guess the point of me writing this here is just to be like hey guys look at how busy I kind of finally am ... it's cool but I am kind of freaking out about it ... why can't my schools give me enough work to do that I don't have to look to outside work for fulfillment ... ...

Unrelated to any of that, while on JET I have realized how difficult it can be to have an unemployed friend. Just because she always wants to hang out on weeknights! My precious weeknights!! And not just hang out like have dinner at her house or whatever, but hang out like drive to the city that's an hour away hang out! Aaaaugh I agreed to that once and thoroughly regretted it the next day. Anyway it seems we will be visiting her on Monday evening (three evenings in a row where I am busy ... this is getting to be too much for this introvert), and I am worried that it will be a visit much like every visit we've had since the day last summer when I told her I'm not recontracting. Every time she sees me now she is just really fixated on that fact and the whole conversation is made up of "Sarah, why aren't you staying? Why are you leaving me? I'm going to get the other ALTs to convince you to stay. Phone your boss and tell him you changed your mind. Why are you leaving???" Uuuuurrgggghhh can't we talk about something else please.

I guess I should be pretty flattered actually that most of the people who know I'm leaving have reacted with an apparently genuine "That's too bad!" sort of reaction. It makes me glad to think that perhaps I concealed my bad moods and culture shocking well enough that no one noticed it. Or perhaps I didn't and they just don't care haha.

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arisha

July 2015

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